Get a signed copy of WBTH
delivered to anywhere on the planet
Before we begin, I have Stephanie news.
I have scheduled four more chapters to her story, so you’ll be seeing those soon. The next one is due on the 24th February. All subscribers (free or paid) can read her novel, which I am currently querying.
Now that’s done, let’s talk books.
A few of you have asked about a signed copy of WHO BUILT THE HUMANS? and I realised I haven’t exactly made it obvious where you can buy one.
You can get one here, on this very page. But first, backstory.
Because of the amazing response the chapters of THE STEPHANIE GLITCH have gotten, and the fact I’ve now got an editor on board helping me refine the manuscript, I feel a lot more relaxed. My stories are being noticed. I’m more confident, and I’m pretty sure my beard looks nicer.
This writing (and comedy) thing has been my job for a while. I’m on the self-employment benefits here in the UK. I won’t go into the details, but I’ve been trying to make this writing thing work since 2019, when I became a stay-at-home person for my family. Before that point I was still a writer, but I had a degree to get and wasn’t writing the stuff I wanted to as often. It’s only recently that things at home have calmed down, and as you can see I am making full use of my time by juggling 11 books. Right now I have about one podcast per week, as either a guest or the interviewer. I love it.
This is who I am. I can’t stop writing (I have previously tried and failed to do so) so I’m going to continue.
This year I’m writing a standup show about Time Travel and taking it to Bright Club and the Edinburgh Fringe. Some of the material will be delivered by a character who is part me, part Tin Foil Tim, from WBTH. He’s some freakish hybrid who only exists on stage, and he is in a relationship with his spaceship.
The WBTH side of my writing has nudged me into becoming a comedian, which finally happened just less than two weeks ago when I did my first set at The Thirsty Scholar in Manchester. All of this ties together, as some of the material on stage is stuff that was once on the page, or that was cut from a story. It’s all part of the same big universe. Everything connects.
So anyway, signed books.
I am bringing back the paid subscriptions. I have spoken to two personal assistants about the tier structure to make sure it is as valuable as possible for you, and I’ve moved my author advice posts over to a separate Halfplanet Press newsletter so this one right here sticks to being writing, writing, writing.
I’ve put a lot of thought into this, I think you’ll like it.
The goal is to make this Substack into a library of weird fiction.
Essentially, you can all be my boss.
And in return I will send you a signed WBTH.
Here’s the break down.
You can get a signed copy of WBTH1 (with free worldwide delivery) by joining either of my yearly paid tiers. It’s that simple. They will be signed to you and delivered from my house here in the UK to wherever you live. The postage is covered in the tier prices because it’s easier for you that way.
And if you join the Founder’s tier, you’ll also get an original illustration on a separate piece of paper, that you can glue to the inside of your car (but not on the window please, I will get in trouble). I’m good at drawing Daleks, Skulls, and Aliens.
The signed WBTH is also available again on Etsy, which will be linked after the tier structure breakdown below.
Free tier -
Subscribers get at least one short story or chapter per month, including chapters from The Stephanie Glitch.
>>You are on this tier right now<<
Nothing changes if you don’t hit the ‘upgrade to paid’ button. You can comment on most posts. You cannot see behind paywalls. No signed books here.
Paid tier -
(£36.93 per year) postage of WBTH included in price
Get behind the paywalls, see structural notes and publishing plans, including unseen concept art and unpublished bits from TSG and other books.
Read exclusive early drafts of secret stories and Synaesthenoid, my comedy book about living with Synaesthesia.
Get involved in paid-only threads, posts, and Q&As. You can comment on every post.
One signed copy of my dark Sci-Fi comedy book WHO BUILT THE HUMANS? is included with this tier. for a limited time (until 20th March 2023 or when stock runs out). At that point, they become exclusive to the Founder’s tier.
Refunds are not available
Founder’s tier -
(£47 per year, or more if you like) postage of WBTH included in price
Get everything in the Paid tier
PLUS an original signed Sci-Fi drawing by me, included on its own sheet of A5 paper beside your signed copy of WBTH. Will most likely be something silly and Sci-Fi themed.
The bonus drawing is available until 20th March 2023. After that date, the Founder’s tier will just include the signed copy of WBTH.
A secret thing
Refunds are not available
That signed book is getting closer
This is the bit where I explain how it works in more detail.
Duration - All paid tiers last for a year from the day you sign up. When that year is close to its end, you’ll be sent an automatic email reminder to the email address you signed up with.
How it works - Once you sign up, I will email you to ask for your delivery address and who I am signing the book to. If for whatever reason you don’t see an email by March 27th, please message me at Halfplanetpress@gmail.com. Please send details using the email you signed up to this newsletter with, as it makes it easier to check everyone has been sent a copy. If I don’t reply to your email within a week, feel free to drop a comment here to remind me.
Limits - I only have 40 books available right now. I have allocated 15 of these to the temporary Paid tier deal. If they run out before 20th March 2023, the deal on the Paid tier will close, but the Founder’s tier deal will remain in place. I’ll keep you all informed, and if you buy one just before I tell you they’ve run out, I’ll print another. You won’t miss out if you miss an email.
Extras - If you want a second book with your subscription, they’re an additional £10 (to cover print costs and postage). You can email me to request one.
Discounts - If you sign up as a group, you get a 33% reduction on each additional yearly subscription. To make things less complicated, you can combine this deal with this signed book deal.
Legal stuff - By signing up to the paid tiers, you acknowledge that there is no refund period, meaning no refunds are available. This makes it possible for me to safely afford posting heavy books out to you, which I cannot resell as they will be signed.
Anyone buying the book through here or Etsy (linked below) should be over 18 at the time of sign-up. This is simply because some of the scenes in WBTH are a bit… head-explodey.
This has always been a reader-supported publication, and it is very rapidly becoming my main thing. I have nine scheduled posts right now and about forty drafts. I spend a few hours here every day. There is a lot of content on the way, including 34,000 more words of THE STEPHANIE GLITCH, about seventeen short stories, and a handful of full books. I hope this can become my full-time thing so I can get to finishing those projects.
You can also get a signed WBTH on Etsy if you’re not up for subscribing yet, but you won’t get the extra content included in the yearly subscription. A signed WBTH is £15.99 on Etsy, which does not include postage. If you get them here on Substack, they do include postage, which typically costs me anywhere from £3.90 to £16. As a side note, it’s weird how expensive sending books to Ireland is when you consider that I could probably just throw one there if I tried hard enough.
Maybe I will try. Could make for a fun video. Book catapult.
Please don’t sign up to a paid service if you don’t plan to stay or can’t afford it.
An author is not just for Christmas, you have to feed us maybe once a week or something. I forgot the advert I was trying to parody. It’s like the hedgehog cartoon.
Only sign up to this if you want to help support my work and you want access to the things outlined above. The subscription lasts a year and cannot be refunded.
Refunds (there aren’t any)
Consider the paid tiers to be like a nice pair of knickers (panties for my American audience). You cannot return them. For the obvious reasons, you also cannot return books which I have signed to you as I can only sell them once.
I also wanted to give a special thanks to everyone who commented and took part in polls and feedback. Your opinions and input here have helped me narrow down my purpose on this platform to a single, weird goal:
BECOME A DIGITAL LIBRARY OF SCI-FI AND COMEDY
And you’ve helped make that happen.
Thank you for being here.
And here’s a bonus bit of narration that came to me in a dream this morning.
“And as if in an act of poetry, the press who had hounded her so aggressively were now being beset by hounds.”
I have no idea what book this goes in. Perhaps WBTH2?
If you’re already a free subscriber, this button will teleport you to the Paid or Founder’s tier.